Bedtime
I was having a conversation with my Sister the other day about “nature vs. nurture”. I have always been VERY strict about my children’s bedtimes. On most nights they are both sound asleep by about 7:30 PM. I’ve been SLIGHTLY lax this last month because it’s been a super hectic month, but it would be a very rare occasion if my children weren’t in bed by the LATEST 8:30 PM. Granted, they are early risers. Especially my daughter, who rarely sleeps past 6:30 AM.
The question I’m asking though, is I hear of people who say their kids would never be able to go down that early. I say “why not?”. I see families out and about at the grocery store, at the restaurant with very young children at 9:30 PM at night. This may not be a popular opinion, but I always think to myself… get those kids in BED!
Here is the trick to getting kids to sleep at a reasonable hour (and I warn you, they will wake up earlier, so be prepared for that… I’m naturally an early bird anyway, so I would much rather have an evening alone with my husband then to sleep in.)
Consistency – This is the most important part. If you want them to be tired at a certain time, you need to get them to go to sleep at that same time EVERY NIGHT. Otherwise they won’t be tired at the correct time. It’s like when you have jet lag. It’s weird the first couple of days until your body adjusts and then you are tired at the correct time again.
Have a Routine – If you are going to be putting your young children to bed without a fuss, you need to have a set routine that you do every night. They know that when you give them a bath, put their jammies on, give them their blankie, and read your stories, and put on the same music, it means bed time. Just completeing the steps of this bedtime routine will help them start to shut down their body and get sleepy.
Leave when they are Sleepy, Not Asleep – When you leave the room, or put them down when they are just starting to fall asleep, if they wake up an hour later and you aren’t there, it won’t be such a shock for them. This also helps them learn that when they are in their bed or in their crib, they can put themselves back to sleep by themselves just fine.
So, please, for your kids sake… put them to sleep early so they aren’t tired and cranky during the day. The bonus for you is a wonderful relaxing evening without kids!
6 Comments
Agreed! My kiddos both go down at 8 without any fuss. I hate when I see kids at the store past 10pm crying. All I can think is that they should be asleep, poor kids. Its not a popular idea, in fact my MIL hates it! She is always trying to plan activities later in the day so the kids will miss their bedtime. She said she just doesn’t ubderstand why they can’t just go to bed whenever. Anyways! Kuddos to you for bedtimes and evenings with the hubby!
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As the kids get older it gets harder to enforce an early bedtime. A friend of mine whose elementary age kids complained of going to bed when it was “still light outside” answered them with an enthusiastic, “Great! Then you won’t need a nightlight. See you in the morning!”
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Really, my kid goes to sleep at 9:30pm and wakes up at 5:30am, EVERYDAY! Are you telling me I should put them to bed at 7:30pm so he wakes up at 4am? Because the few times, my 18 month old went to bed at 8-8:30pm, he has woken up ready to go at 4:30-5am…
Some kids don’t sleep as long. I think it might get better once he stops napping, but the 4 year old doesn’t nap during the day and he might sleep in until 6:30am, at the latest, from going to bed at 9:30pm.
Decisions like these cannot be unilateral. We used to not set bedtime and found the balance was to be consistent with the 9:30pm bedtime. It works, it is later than most people think it should be, but the older kid is rarely cranky (disobedient, but that is a different issue…) and the younger one only when he doesn’t get a nap…
I agree! Get those kids in bed!! My boys 3 1/2yr and
4 1/2yr are sound asleep by 7:00pm. Which means dinner at 5:00, bath at 6:00, jammies and stories by 6:30 and asleep by 7:00. They both sleep exactly 12 hours from when they go to bed. I love it and they get the sleep they need.
I hate to disagree but I love having nice long evenings with my children. They both sleep in and they get enough sleep overall though, so if they are out for dinner or shopping with us, they are not cranky. We still get disapproving looks, however. Love your blog!
I’m one of those mothers whose kids are up late, but I don’t want to be. I have trouble getting everything done in time, and I’m worried because my eldest starts school this year. What time do you start getting dinner etc?