There is a popular theory that each person has their favorite ways for showing and receiving love. Gary Chapman termed these different expressions of love as “Love Languages” in his New York Times Bestselling book: “The 5 Love Languages.”
He says that if we can learn to speak someone’s love language then we will strengthen and deepen our relationship with them. This is true, not only for our spouses and romantic partners, but for our kids as well.
The 5 love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Gifts, and Acts of Service.
It may be easy for you to know which love language you speak, but it might not be as obvious which love language is your child’s. Think back to the moments you’ve expressed love to your child in each of the different love languages. How did they respond? Which one do you think has the biggest impact on them? You can also ask them how they would show someone that they love them. Often, the way we like to express love is the way we prefer to receive it.
The following are ideas to help you show your love to your child on Valentine’s Day in their love language.
Words of Affirmation:
This love language likes to be acknowledged in both the written and spoken word.
- Write your child a heartfelt note on special Valentine’s Day stationary.
- Pick out a high quality card from the store and write a personal note inside.
- Cut out paper hearts and write something you love about your child on them, then tape the hearts around the house for your child to find. If you have more than one child, you can color coordinate the hearts. One child can look for the red hearts, the other child can look for pink, etc.
This love language likes to create fun or meaningful memories together. So take your child on a special one on one Valentines date.
- If the weather permits, take your child sledding for a Valentine’s Day date.
- Share a hot chocolate together. You can make some at home or go out together to get hot chocolate from the gas station or a coffee shop
- Buy a gourmet chocolate covered apple and share it together.
This love language likes hugs, holding hands, and snuggles.
- Wake them up slowly, and snuggle them in bed before getting ready for the day.
- Make sure to greet your child with a hug when they get home from school.
- Sit next to them, or have them sit on your lap and ask them about their favorite part of the day.
- Create a special handshake that only the two of you do together.
- Snuggle while you read a Valentines Day book together, and then tuck them into bed at night.
A meaningful gift will have a huge impact on kids who speak this love language.
- Similar to an Easter basket, you can create a Valentines Gift basket. Fill it with candy and a gift they can unwrap.
- Buy some valentines day wrapping paper and wrap a small gift for them to open when they get home from school.
- Give your child a real rose and help them care for it.
Acts of Service
Children who speak this love language enjoy receiving or giving an act of service.
- Have a spa night, and pamper your kiddo.
- Invite your child to do Random Acts of Kindness with you.
- Ask about a project they want to accomplish and then help them with it.
- Finish a chore for them that they are normally responsible for.
I hope these ideas can help you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your kids in ways that have the most impact and meaning to them.